


Soulname(s)

by Hysterical_Mirth



Series: learning to be six [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Aromantic/Asexual Character, F/F, F/M, Female MC - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Multiple Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Threesome - F/M/M, polyship, reader POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:29:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hysterical_Mirth/pseuds/Hysterical_Mirth
Summary: You're the right age, tender and five, when a name lines itself on your wrist. It's normal, expected.The four names that follow are not. --Artist MC has five soulmates she's determined to find the "old-fashioned" meet and greet way, but ends up finding them through a soul-match app instead (of course).





	1. Chapter 1

Your arms are tattooed with names.

 

They began to color, starting from your wrist, when you were five. It is the average age a soul name appears on the body, but all else was anything but average.

 

The first month the characters darkened into Yoosung Kim, like a streak of ink on your skin. You watched, day by day as it darken into a forest green, in private excitement when you woke up every morning to see that name swell with color like a promise.

 

A week after the color steadied, another, just above it, halfway between Yoosung’s ink and your elbow, began to swirl.

 

Saeyoung Choi became your second soulmate, the ink bold and red as a stoplight. You delighted in it, not yet showing your parents until your mother spotted it. Red isn’t easy to hide.

 

Your parents were baffled, halfway between disbelief and wonder. They knew of a trio, blessed and happy sharing each other’s names. They tucked you in that night and hoped with all their hearts you would be just as happy.

 

Saeyoung’s name was not the last.

 

Silver, like a metal sheen, almost lost on your skin, began to darken as Hyun Ryu became your third soulmate. Tucked into the crook of your elbow, you felt protective of this soulmate. The name was marked with such an elegant color, but it was so faint and didn’t darken as much as the previous two had. You couldn’t help but feel there was something they needed. You could be strong for them, like mother was for father.

 

It wasn’t until the last two showed within days of each other, Jumin Han on the outside of your upper arm, dark like the navy of you mother’s best suit, and Jaehee Kang across your shoulder, bright dandelion yellow, that your parents realized you have gained three more soulmates.

 

After Jaehee and Jumin the ink stopped flowing.

 

Soulmate counselors your parents went to guidance for didn’t know what to say. Historically, it was possible. There had been accounts of people with up to three or even four soulmates, when the world was not so big and people were not so plentiful.

 

In the modern world, so many soulmates were unnecessary, and the average was a single mate per person. It was uncommon for people to have two, and exceedingly rare to have three.

 

Five, even historically, was more than rare. It was unheard of.

 

You didn’t want to be famous for that. You didn’t want to share your soulmates with anyone. The counselors and scientists asked and pleaded, but your parents looked to you, and you firmly said _no_.

 

Nearly seven, and you had no desire to share your privacy with anyone. Your soulmates didn’t deserve it, and you didn’t want it.

 

Your mother and father were soulmates. They had found each other through friends of friends, the way many had before the popularity of computers, cell phones, and mobile applications boomed.

 

That was how you wanted to find your soulmates. You wanted to be like your mother and father; Father so gentle and kind when he stayed home with you and picked you up from school. Mother so strong and steady as she left for work and came home for dinner, tired but happy to listen as you told her about your day.

 

You wanted that sense of family with the five people that colored your arms with their names.

 

* * *

 

In primary to middle school you wore sleeves to your wrist, exposing only the name of Yoosung to the world.

 

No one believed you when you told them you had five people in the world who were just right for you.

 

Once, a group of children held you down as one scrubbed your arm raw with soap and a rag. When you came home, bruised, right arm beading blood, your father had you transferred to a different school within a week. Even when the summer days sweltered, you wore the winter uniform for the sleeves.

 

Your second year of middle school, your mother gained a promotion and your family moved. You were… Not sad to go. You had few friends, no one you would call more than an acquaintance, or someone you simply passed time with.

 

Your new middle school would not allow such distance. Rather, _she_ wouldn’t.

 

Sujin Park was a force, the name of her soulmate bold across her throat. She found you, and clung close.

 

By the time you realized you had made a friend, you were sitting in the art room while Sujin drew you.

 

She introduced you to the many different ways beautiful things could be captured. Through paint, photography, sketching, pencils, and… Clay.

 

Never had you touched clay or sculpted. The moment you felt the cool earth, firm but giving, you could not stop. Through the rest of middle school you molded and shaped, creating and destroying.

 

Come high school you followed Sujin’s school choice, but you were obsessed. You wanted to be great, to sculpt something that caught the eyes of those who had branded their names on your arms.

 

You didn’t care about the new soulname apps Sujin tried to ply you into, because at the base of each sculpt you made, you named it for one of your mates. You would sell these, and they would find you.

 

In the middle of your first year at college, Sujin called. When you didn’t answer, she showed up at your rented studio, stranger in tow.

 

She had found her mate, a woman as passionate as her, a camera slung around her neck.

 

You wished them well, and turned back to the small cat you were piecing together. Perhaps you would dedicate it to Jumin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 10/27/2017


	2. Chapter 2

“You-! Hey, don’t ignore me! Ugh!” Sujin growled out, throwing her hands out as she reached for you. She pushed at your shoulders, swiveling your chair around to face her.

 

“I come to you _with my soulmate_ , and all you say is 'congratulations'?!”

 

“Are you not happy…?” You glanced over her shoulder at the new woman, who gave an aborted wave until she noticed your glare.

 

Fingers snapped in your face.

 

“Hey! I’m plenty happy! Stop scowling at her,” Sujin interjected, pulling your attention back. “What the hell are you making that’s so much more important?”

 

You looked down at the cat in your hand, the wire still exposed, not even half molded with clay.

 

“It’s a cat. For Jumin,” you answered, turning yourself around. You set the cat down before the clay could get squished and gently start to cover it to prevent the clay from drying.

 

Sujin rubbed her temples, grumbling under her breath. “You should just get the app, seriously… You make so many things for them, just get the app and find them!”

 

She snatched up your phone, swiping and inputting the code in seconds.

 

“Hey… How do you know my code?” You ask, belated.

 

“You’ve used the same code since middle school,” she dismissed, moving her hand away when you tried to retrieve your phone.

 

You give up - you can delete it later - and instead, you returned to your unfinished cat. You uncovered it and gathered more clay, pressing it in to fill the space missing.

 

“Are all of these yours?”

 

The voice was quiet, a contrast to Sujin’s, and genuinely curious. Her camera isn’t small, but it isn’t big, and hung over her chest, lens capped. Her eyes were dark and smiled with her lips.

 

“Yes. I rent the space here and share the kiln with other artists,” you answered, also quiet. Though you did sell these works, because that _wa_ _s_ the entire point, you were aware of how you sounded when people realized you dedicated all your art to your soulmates. Soulmates you hadn’t even met yet, despite the number of them.

 

She looked over your art, and her eyes hovered over a plate, a rare piece you had spent little time actually sculpting and more time painting. 

 

“Do you like it?” You asked, pressing more clay on the wire frame. The plate had Yoosung’s name etched into the back, not visible from the stand it was displayed on.

 

She glanced at you, then back at the plate she was admiring. You didn’t paint scenes often, and for good reason, but this one had turned out well. A comet flashed across a night sky, small silhouettes of people outlined by the brilliance of it. You had dedicated it to Yoosung, but hadn’t had the heart to sell it yet.

 

“I do,” she finally answered. “It’s unique and beautiful.” She gestured around the studio as she elaborated, “it doesn’t look as though you paint like this much, but seeing this plate, I hope you do more.”

 

You hummed and molded your clay. “Do you want to buy it?”

 

“Ah? Buy it? You’re selling it?” Her voice increased in volume with each word, excitement in the rapidity of her speech.

 

“If you’re buying it, I’m selling it.”

 

“Hey!” Sujin nudged you, “I set up a profile for you on the app. You’re welcome.”

 

“I’m not thanking you. Congratulations on your engagement. Please leave.”

 

Twin shrieks echoed in your studio. You winced, hunching as Sujin began the tirade.

 

“We’re not engaged, you never listen! I texted you; you must have ignored it. How could you! I’m your best friend, pay some attention to me when I send you things!”

 

Carefully, you wrapped up the unfinished cat, closed the bag of clay, and pressed your dirty hands over your ears.

 

Sujin jerked your hands away predictably. “Stop getting your hair dirty, now you have to shower! I wanted to take you out to dinner with us. Gosh! You’re like a child! Go wash your hands. Did you even eat lunch? So messy.”

 

She nattered on, bustling you around, getting in your things. At least she knew where it all went.

 

“I would like to buy the plate,” the woman said, voice quiet once again, but amusement played strongly in her tone.

 

“All right.” You rinsed the soap from your hands and wiped them down. “Bring me what you think it’s worth, and you can have it.”

 

“Eh? Just that?”

 

You shrugged. “If you think it’s that cheap, then I won’t give it to you. I have to eat. But if you bring me a good price, then you can have it. Consider it an engagement present.”

 

She flushed, fingers twisting in the straps of her camera. “W-We’re not engaged… And isn’t an engagement present supposed to be a gift?”

 

Right, that’s true. “Okay,” you agreed, “it’s not an engagement present. I’ll make something else for that.”

 

“W-We’re platonic!” The woman finally squeaked, “... I’m ace. Aromantic, asexual.”

 

“... Oh.” Where was your phone? You dried your hands and plucked the phone from your sketching table. You flipped through the texts until you find the blinking notifications of unread texts from Sujin.

 

[ **Sujin:** i found her! i found my soulmate! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

 

 **Sujin:** [Picture]

 

 **Sujin:** were platonic, cuz shes aro/ace. but shes so sweet and cute! shes perfect!

 

 **Sujin:** will you meet for dinner?

 

 **Sujin:** hello?

 

 **Sujin:** if you dont answer im going to get you.]

 

“Hm. Okay. You can still marry, though,” you noted, tucking your phone away.

 

Sujin popped back in the room and slapped your shoulder with a rag. “Stop it. If we want to, we’ll do it. Right now, we don’t. We just met today.”

 

She cast an apologetic look at the woman and threw the rag into the laundry bin.

 

“My name is Yumi, by the way,” Yumi offered. “Sujin told me yours on the way here.”

 

“Ah, hello then. How did you meet?” Sujin said they had just met today, but you doubted she would be introducing Yumi to you if they were really so new to each other.

 

“Through the app I think she set up on your phone,” Yumi chuckled politely. “We’ve been talking for a month, just to make sure. We finally decided to meet today since I was in town.”

 

She seemed to glow as she talked about meeting up with Sujin after a month of deliberation. How had they suffered it, not seeing each other face to face, speaking through such an impersonal medium? They were clearly so happy now and less than twenty-four hours had passed since they had physically met.

 

“I don’t want to use the app. It’s not something that would work for me,” you said, absently rubbing Saeyoung’s name on your arm.

 

Yumi’s eyes drifted over the exposed names, easily able to see every one of them by virtue of your sleeveless shirt. Work was messy, your clothes didn’t have to be.

 

You pretended not to notice her stare as you removed your apron and hung it up.

 

“I… Can see why. But you don’t think any of them would be online, looking for you?”

 

“I don’t want to find them that way,” you told her, turning back. “I want to see their faces when we talk for the first time.”

 

Sujin giggled as she leaned into Yumi’s shoulder, and the taller girl bashfully took her hand. “She’s old fashioned, see. She wants to meet them like how they used to, before all this ‘technology’ got in the way. She doesn’t even like texting.”

 

“I text…” Your protest was weak and they knew it.

 

“Barely! You call me more than you text. What if I can’t answer the phone?” It was an old argument, well versed and almost choreographed now. You pursed your lips and pulled on the light jacket you had come in with that morning.

 

“Then you shouldn’t be texting either,” you responded, flicking the lights off. You held the door for them as they shuffled out. You could see now that the sun was deep in the horizon, streets lights already blooming.

 

Lunch… Your stomach growled. You had forgotten lunch.

 

“Aha! I knew it was right to come get you,” Sujin crowed, not missing a beat. “You always forget to eat. Yumi, you better not pick up her habits,” she scolded her mate, who was also covering her stomach sheepishly.

 

“No, I just… I was nervous, that’s all,” Yumi tried to explain, meek, but it didn’t seem like she minded being fussed at.

 

“Oh~!” Sujin growled, cheeks puffing cutely. “Come on, you two! You’re going to eat, and you aren’t leaving until I see clear plates!”

 

Ah, well, at least this meant she was paying for dinner.

 

Your phone beeped, muffled in your pocket, and you pulled it out as you followed Sujin.

 

A notification from… Mystic Messenger? That had to be the dating app she downloaded for you. She really had set up your profile. Knowing her, it was likely even more accurate than you would have made it.

 

Someone had sent you a message.

 

You knew your own stance. You knew how you wanted to meet your soulmates, face to face, introductions with names you both had known all your lives, but never had a voice to to put to it. You didn’t want to see letters printed in the same font the rest of the world used, plain on preset backgrounds and easy to overlook.

 

Then why had your legs ceased to move as you stared at that plain, common font on the preset background?

 

[ **Yoosung:** We’ve been trying to find you forever!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 10/27/2017


	3. Chapter 3

_The first soulmate she found was Zen. She had found him through the musicals she so adored, drawn to his passion as an amateur and the budding skill he displayed. She had not realized he was more than just Zen until she discovered his name later that night, stalking the familiar forums._

 

_Hyun Ryu, branded on her thigh like the dark grey of stormclouds._

 

_Her heart felt like it might rupture in her chest from the thickness of its beating, eyes wide as they drank in the full name of the newest actor she had been drawn to._

 

_Stage names were not uncommon, was it to protect his identity in that way or… No, it couldn’t be, she could see now that he was advertising his personal address for fan mail. Though he was new, it was clear he was popular, if only through looks at the moment._

 

_Jaehee could see beyond those looks, beautiful as he was. She could see the talent he was honing, the skill in his acting that was only going to grow._

 

_It was after his third show she finally approached him, perhaps a little tipsy from the wine she had consumed. She never would have otherwise._

 

_“I am… Jaehee,” She introduced herself, eyes trained on his face. “Jaehee Kang.”_

 

_It was not his face, but his throat that betrayed him, the thick swallow forcing a bob in his adam’s apple._

 

_His voice wavered as he echoed, “Jaehee Kang…?”_

 

_Her tongue trembled, unable to speak, and she nodded. Her vision blurred, and she felt sudden drops of wet on her cheeks._

 

_“Oh! No, no, don’t cry!”_

 

_Hands, big and warm, cradled her face, thumbs catching her tears. She smiled, lips popping as laughter bubbled out._

 

_Zen looked halfway worried, quickly turning to baffled. “I… I’m sorry?”_

 

_Jaehee shook her head, her hands, so much smaller, cupped over Zen’s to keep them where they were. “No, I just… I’m happy.”_

 

* * *

 

“Hey… Hey! What’s on your phone?”

 

Sujin was a loud, disruptive presence in your sudden trance.

 

You coughed and turned your phone off, pressing it back in your pocket. “Nothing. Where are we going?”

 

Of course, she wasn’t going to let that go. But she was going to let you get complacent. It was only a matter of time before you slipped up, and she stole your phone to find the truth.

 

Sujin’s eyes narrowed, but she turned away. “A noodle shop. Noodles are the best for filling hungry bellies.”

 

With her back turned, you pulled out your phone again and rapidly responded to the message you had received.

 

[ **Yoosung:** We’ve been trying to find you forever!

 

 **\---------:** Your names?]

 

The reply was instant.

 

[ **Yoosung:** We’ve been trying to find you forever!

 

 **\---------:** Your names?

 

 **Yoosung:** Yoosung Kim, Jaehee Kang, Hyun Ryu (he goes by Zen), Jumin Han, and Saeyoung Choi. We all have your name, but we don’t all have each other’s names. -Jaehee

 

 **Yoosung:** aaa! Srry Jaehee took my phone;;;; This is Yoosun!

 

 **Yoosung:** oops, typo. Yoosung I mean;;

 

 **\---------:** My number is xx-xxx-xxxx. Call later, I’m at dinner.]

 

The short time you texted, Sujin chatted with Yumi, but she kept glancing at you, a curiously smug smile on her face.

 

You turned the corner after them and entered the small, but busy noodle shop. The three of you slid into a booth, Yumi tucked against Sujin comfortably.

 

“You were on the app, weren’t you?” Sujin teased, brows quirked.

 

“...” You heaved a sigh and withdrew your phone, placing it on the table. “Yes. One of my soulmates messaged me.”

 

Sujin’s eyes grew big, her smile widening with them, and she snatched up your phone. Within seconds she was scrolling through the short conversation while Yumi politely looked away.

 

“Ah!” Sujin screeched. “You gave your number, but you won’t talk to them now?! Augh! You-”

 

“I don’t like texting, and I wanted to have dinner with you first so our call wouldn’t be interrupted,” you explained before she could rant further. Your fingers drummed on the table, and you sucked your lower lip in, chewing on it as you looked at her, then away.

 

She paused, her gaze searching as she peered at you, then placed the phone back within your reach. You put it away as she spoke again.

 

“You’re nervous. Are you okay? You know you can wait. Tell them you want to meet in person, not over the phone,” Sujin suggested gently. “That’s what you want.”

 

You nodded, but… You couldn’t stand the thought of going to bed without at least hearing their voices. You felt hot all over, anticipating the call you would receive.

 

You had been hungry before, but the anxiety washed away all appetite. When the waitress came by, Sujin ordered for you, a smaller, lighter bowl than she probably would have preferred you eat.

 

“I want to hear them,” you confessed, fingers still drumming. “If I can’t see them today, because it’s too late, I want to hear them. He had all the names. Or she, Jaehee. She had them all. It has to be them.”

 

Sujin placed a hand over yours, stopping the fidgeting of your fingers.

 

“Okay,” she said, smile soft. “Then do what you feel is right. Do you want me to stay with you?”

 

You glanced at Yumi, and you knew she wouldn’t mind if Sujin stayed. She was your best friend, you had known her for years before Yumi, and the other woman knew it.  

 

But she would be disappointed.

 

You shook your head and withdrew your hand. “No, go with Yumi. Be with her.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

You nodded, leaning back as the waitress came, setting your bowls out.

  
“You be with your soulmate, and I’ll be with mine, even if it’s not in person.” You couldn’t help the smile that spread on your lips. “It will be good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 10/27/2017


	4. Chapter 4

_When he first kissed Jumin, he thought he must be out of his mind._

 

_He remembered that he had been angry. It was over the usual suspects, Jumin’s treatment of Jaehee, how he prattled on about his dumb cat, and his general attitude as a wealthy brat all grown up._

 

_Jumin was just an infuriating person to deal with. Really, the only thing linking them together was the name they shared. Zen was not Jumin’s soulmate, but if they shared one, they should at least be on good terms._

 

_It was hard to be on good terms with this bastard._

 

_This idiotic, rich boy, grossly handsome- Zen was shouting, then, suddenly, he wasn’t._

 

_He was backed against a wall, a hand firm on his arm, another near bruising at his hip. Zen flailed, it probably looked so ungraceful, but he didn’t care because Jumin was so close all he could see was the deep darkness of his eyes and feel the warm giving of his lips._

 

_Then his teeth nipped at Zen’s lip, and he jerked back, ready to scold, but Jumin took full advantage, just as he did with everything else in life. He pressed onward, invading Zen’s mouth as if he were there to plunder for gold._

 

_It was the most violent kiss Zen had ever been on the receiving end of. But if he hadn’t liked it, he wouldn’t have returned it in full kind._

 

_He couldn’t deny later that he had been the one to start pulling off clothing, digging his fingers into Jumin’s fine suit jacket. He was sure they had been just shy of outright ripping their clothing apart in their eagerness._

 

_The next morning, neck and shoulders aching as he withdrew from the hotel bed, he cursed Jumin for leaving hickies behind._

 

_Zen healed fast, but bruises like this, a purpling chain littering up his neck and across his collar, were not going to heal before they were seen._

 

_Now, Jumin has learned to be more discreet with his jealousy, and Zen thinks the kiss given bruises are a substitute for the name he doesn’t bear._

 

* * *

 

Somehow, you managed to eat all of your meal, and when you parted ways with Sujin, you ccouldn’t help checking your phone. It felt strange to do so when most days you completely ignored your phone’s existence, save to tell time.

 

[ **\---------:** My number is xx-xxx-xxxx. Call later, I’m at dinner.

 

 **Yoosung:** Okay! ^^

 

 **Yoosung:** Are you done?

 

 **Yoosung:** Are yo asdfhkhj..;lgzh

 

 **Yoosung:** I apologize for Yoosung’s fretting, please take your time. - Jaehee]

 

You didn’t feel the smile on your face until you’d begun typing a response, your fingers slow on the touch screen.

 

[ **Yoosung:** I apologize for Yoosung’s fretting, please take your time. - Jaehee

 

 **\---------:** It’s no trouble. I’m free now.]

 

When you sent the message, you were slow to look away from the screen, anticipating an immediate response. Seconds passed like hours as your screen darkened, then faded entirely.

 

You tucked your phone away in your pocket and headed for home. You were unused to the anxiety in your heart, and your fingers ached for the comfort of malleable clay, something to take your mind away.

 

A ringtone, the default one, sounded as you unlocked your apartment door. Fumbling, you pulled your phone out and swiped several times before the call was answered, an unknown number blinking insistently at you.

 

“Hello?” Your greeting was more like a breathless demand, and your door slammed shut behind you with nothing to keep it open.

 

“Ah, hello!”

 

The voice was male, and boyishly young, but he had the same breathless quality in his words that you did.

 

“... Yoosung?”

 

“Yes! My avatar picture on the app is me from a week ago! I’m the blond next to Jaehee, she has glasses.”

 

Your heart surged, and you just couldn’t stay upright any longer. With a deep sigh, you slumped down, back against the wall.

 

“A-Are you okay?” He was so cute, worrying over you already. His picture was cute too. You wanted to spoil him.

 

“Jaehee… She’s with you, isn’t she?”

 

A female voice sounded, steady enough to calm you. “I am. Yoosung’s phone is on speaker.”

 

You hummed and leaned forward, forehead against your bent knees. “Who else is there?”

 

“No one,” she answered. “I am with Yoosung to keep him focused on school work.”

 

You laughed lightly, but it bubbled into something deeper, and it hurt to stop, caught in your chest. “College or high school?”

 

“College!” Yoosung piped, indignance in his tone. “I’m a sophomore.”

 

“Mm. I’m a freshman. Why does Jaehee need to focus you?”

 

“...”

 

Yoosung was reluctant to answer, but he did, eventually. “I’ve been playing LOLOL. It’s just for fun! I’m in college, I should be allowed to enjoy myself!”

 

“You made a poor grade on your last test. Your game is distracting you from studying properly, unless you intend to become a professional.”

 

You giggled again, unable to prevent it. “You can enjoy yourself, but not to excess. Then you won’t be successful. What are you studying?”

 

“You too? Ahhh…” Yoosung sighed gustily, static blowing in your ear. “How about… I tell you when we meet? I feel a little guilty to talk to you with only Jaehee.”

 

“So sweet.”

 

He was clearly flustered as he stammered over the line, but the stammering dropped out of hearing, and you only heard Jaehee’s voice next.

 

“I have turned speaker off. I agree with Yoosung, although, I admit it was hard enough waiting this long once we had finally found you. Oh, but we don’t have proper confirmation yet, so we would like to see you for that reason as well. As a group, of course, to be proper.”

 

“Mm,” you hummed in affirmative. “Tomorrow. Please.”

 

“Tomorrow. That is… No, I will be sure it happens. This is important.”

 

“Where are you? All of you? Do you live in the same city?”

 

“We do. But where do you live?”

 

“Doesn’t matter. Tell me where to meet you and when, I’ll be there.”

 

“... Very well. I have a café. If you can meet in the evening, we will be there. I will text you the address.”

 

Such a short call. You loathed to end it, and your hand creaked around the phone as you gripped it tighter.

 

“I’ll see you there… See you soon, Jaehee. Please tell Yoosung as well.”

 

“I will. See you soon.”

 

You heard frantic protests in the background before the call dropped. The excitement that had fueled you turned cold in the pit of your stomach.

 

Yoosung and Jaehee… Two of five, and they knew the rest. They all lived in the same city, wherever that was. Jaehee owned a café, and Yoosung was a sophomore in college who liked playing LOLOL.

 

Clearly, they had become close to each other in your absence.

 

You wanted more. You wanted that. You wanted  _them_.

 

Though your rear was starting to fall asleep, you flicked your way through Yoosung’s profile page, greedily reading over everything he had put up. He had so many pictures too, all of five various people. It seemed he had made the profile more of a group profile than a singular one. 

 

Jumin, dark hair and eyes, always formally dressed in a suit. He was near the same height as Zen, or Hyun, a beautiful man with pale hair and twinkling red eyes.

 

Jaehee was a woman whose gentle appearance was as sweet as her voice was firm. Perhaps it had been her nerves. Her hazel eyes were happy, and her hair grew longer with each updated photo. In the most recent one, which Yoosung had made his avatar photo, her hair was nearly past her shoulders.

 

Yoosung was definitely the baby, still round in the face, his height surpassed by all the others in their group photos. His blond hair didn’t help detract from his obvious youth, but in each and every photo he smiled brightly, and his purple eyes were just as expressive.

 

It was Saeyoung and his brilliant red hair that made the fewest appearances in the photos, but he was always teasing, luring reactions from the others. Jumin in particular seemed to find him the most distasteful, but it didn’t stop him from keeping a protective arm over Saeyoung’s shoulders in one photo.  

 

You saved every last one.

 

When you finally crawled into bed, eyes still glued to your phone, you sent one last message to Yoosung via the app.

 

[ **\---------:** Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 10/31/2017


	5. Chapter 5

_Soulmates._

 

_Soulnames._

 

_It wasn’t something Jumin put much stock in._

 

_He was not the product of soulmates. His father’s soulmate was not something they spoke about, but Jumin could remember seeing a faded outline of a name, the characters foreign, on his father’s wrist._

 

_Father wore a watch over it now._

 

_From a young age, Jumin kept his own name hidden, safe from view of the public eye, just like his father taught him._

 

_“A soulmate is precious,” Father had told him. “You must keep them safe, and never let them go.”_

 

_Jumin already had precious people in his life, V and father, Rika and Elizabeth 3rd. They were the only people he needed. The owner of the name on his wrist… He knew nothing of them and had no inclination to know them._

 

_People yearned, nonstop, around him to discover that one, the person made just for them. Jumin was not “made” for anyone. He was himself for himself._

 

_So he swore, each and every day._

 

_He wondered when it was he stopped swearing._

 

_Was it when he met Yoosung, bright and brilliant, barely seventeen, that familiar name tattooed on his wrist in plain sight?_

 

_Was it when Jaehee entered his life at V’s behest, that name again printed along her collarbone in mockery?_

 

_Was it when he saw Zen singing, his beauty leaving him halfway speechless, that name, again, inked across his hips killing his breath entirely?_

 

_Was it when Seven, Luciel, Saeyoung, so secretive and finally not, exposed the nape of his neck to bare that name, once more haunting him?_

 

_It was impossible, that one person should claim five people. It was greed of the soul, and yet… He sat, waiting, drinking coffee in Jaehee’s quaint café as she turned the sign to “closed” while Yoosung texted nervously beside him._

 

_The sky darkened, and a knock cut the silence. Jumin would deny that his head turned like a whip, snapping toward the door, but he could not hide the stain of the cold coffee as it spilled when his knee hit the table._

 

* * *

 

The entire day, you felt useless.

 

You were lucky you had no classes, because you had burned your breakfast, nearly ordered the wrong paint, gotten off the train late, and bought coffee instead of tea at the grocery store.

 

You didn’t dare go to your studio.

 

Sujin would scold you if she knew.

 

You spent half the day melded to your phone, alternately texting Yoosung and memorizing the route to Jaehee’s café.

 

You looked it up and found a cute and simple website that perfectly matched the style of the café. It was small, but the reviewers loved it. Many pictures of patrons lined the gallery on the site, and Jaehee often stood beside them or in the background.

 

In each one she smiled, eyes crinkled at the corners while her cheeks glowed. Your heart swelled pleasantly.

 

From morning on, Yoosung texted about his day, every nuance, everything he could think of. He was at Jaehee’s, dutifully helping at the café in place of playing LOLOL. Periodically, he sent pictures of food and drinks he made, and you wondered how it was he could be working if he texted you so often.

 

He confessed he wanted to become a veterinarian, inspired by the fate of his cousin’s dog. Your other soulmate, Saeyoung, was a trickster and often played pranks on Yoosung. You could understand why, as sweet and gullible as he was.

 

Though you were close in age, your personalities were much different. You clawed for time to move faster, to race into evening so you could see them all, discover all the personalities of the people you carried on your arms.

 

You begged for information from Yoosung, soothing his worry that he felt he was only annoying you. How could he be an annoyance, your darling of a soulmate?

 

He told you about Zen’s narcissism, how he preferred to be called Zen, not Hyun, that he was an actor, and ‘mated to Jaehee as well as you. Jaehee was a stern worrier, but with a good, big heart. She lived with Zen, and was often the only one who reminded him to eat between his schedule and beauty routine.

 

Not long ago, she had worked for Jumin, but saved enough money to follow her dreams and buy the lot her café currently occupied. Yoosung sent you pictures of the opening day, and you repurposed one of them, all your soulmates smiling at the photographer, as the wallpaper for your cellphone.

 

Jumin was serious, but not, because he extolled the beauty and virtues of his cat, Elizabeth 3rd, and all other cats (but Elizabeth 3rd was the best). He was the director of a big company, and, though he didn’t act it, he was a generous man.

 

He was protective of them all, though he claimed it was in his own personal interest to be so. Yoosung personally thought he was a big softy, but he would never admit it to Jumin’s face. Jumin could be scary, he said.

 

It seemed Saeyoung was the most recently found member of the group, prior to you. His past wasn’t open, and he was overly secretive sometimes. Yoosung didn’t like it, you could tell, but they had become fast friends. Saeyoung was a hacker, messy, and occasionally forgetful. He was a cat lover, dubiously so according to Jumin, and had several fast, expensive cars.

 

Yoosung had been a passenger once, but never again. Never ever.

 

Throughout the day, you were hiding smiles, your leg tingling with every new message that beeped and vibrated.

 

Evening finally rolled on, the numbers of your phone shifting from late noon with the setting of the sun. Jaehee’s café would close soon.

 

You texted Yoosung a promise that yes, you were on your way, you would meet him soon. Meet _them_ soon.  

 

Shadows lengthened on the sidewalk, darkening the concrete completely. The café was before you, lit from the inside. The occupants gathered at a single table, and you could see no one speaking from where you stood. A blond head bent down, and you couldn’t see it, but you knew Yoosung was on his phone.

 

Jumin was tall at his side, a mug in front of him near the edge of the table. Underneath it, you could see Zen’s leg, his ankle crossed with Jumin’s.

 

Jaehee sat next to Zen, mug in hand, and, as you moved closer, you could see her lips moving minutely. Zen nodded, a smile lifting the mood of his face.

 

And Saeyoung… Saeyoung stared directly at you. A slow grin widened his face as he saw you looking and noticing him just as he had noticed you. Slyly, he crooked his finger at you.

 

Will you walk into my parlour, said the spider to the fly.

 

Warmth suffused your body, and your legs moved without thought. They were not spiders, and you were not a fly, but you would gladly walk into their “parlour.”

 

You knocked on the glass door, just firm enough to be heard.

 

Inside, you saw Jumin jump, and his coffee spilled over onto his pants. They looked more valuable than every piece of clothing you owned, yet Jumin looked only at you.

 

You, who gaped openly at the mess that Jaehee frantically tried to clean. Saeyoung laughed, full bellied, head thrown back, and nearly fell from his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/01/2017


	6. Chapter 6

_He was the youngest, and he knew they treated him with kid gloves. Be gentle with the baby. Even strict Jumin took care with him, with actions that betrayed his words._

 

_Saeyoung was different._

 

_He tricked him, easily and often, because Yoosung was a sheltered child, his mother’s only son and raised to be the best with little knowledge outside what his books told him. He had never been taught to lie._

 

_Though he lacked worldly experience, he wasn’t blind._

 

_He knew that Saeyoung had a troublesome past. He could see it in his eyes, when he seemed to look at nothing at all for minutes at a time. How Saeyoung would bounce away with a joke, never allowing anyone to touch him. Yoosung had yet to wrest a hug from the sneak, but he would steal one if he had to._

 

_For being so bright and vivacious, Saeyoung was so… Flat._

 

_Yoosung couldn’t point it out. He didn’t want to prompt a zoning stare, brilliant Saeyoung draining of color, his red locks a mockery of his lack of life._

 

_Instead, he fought back. Like a tweeting songbird against a playful tomcat, he distracted and appealed to Saeyoung._

 

_He raged and laughed in equal measure, because rages were short, petty things and laughter was longer when it was earned._

 

_Six months after they found Saeyoung, Yoosung found his best friend._

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, sliding into the café between the door frame and the door. Jaehee was just shy of mortified, and more than exasperated. Saeyoung was still giggling uselessly, and you saw him fidgeting with a phone in his hand.

 

“It is not your fault,” Jaehee comforted. As you began to shrug off your jacket, she reached out to help. You saw her pause, hand stuttering midair as the names on your arms were revealed.

 

The weather was cold, still early spring, and you would have normally worn something with longer sleeves. Instead, you wore a simple sleeveless top, enough to display what they no doubt wanted proof of.

 

Tentatively, Jaehee took your jacket and Zen stood, pulling up a chair to the already crowded table. You pretended you couldn’t feel the weight of their eyes on you as you sat between Zen and Yoosung.

 

“Would you like coffee?”

 

It was Yoosung who offered, but Jaehee is the one already striding toward the counter. Coffee wasn’t your favored drink, but you would take it if Jaehee needed the distraction.

 

“With cream and sugar, please,” you allowed, twisting your fingers in your lap. Surrounded by your soulmates, and you can only stare at the table.

 

“It’s you, after all…” Zen murmured at your side, and your gaze is drawn up. He’s found the shimmering silver of his name, near hidden in the crease of your elbow.

 

A slow smile turned your lips up and you spread your arms over the table for them.

 

“You were third. I was worried for you, for a long time. But your name always shone brightly in the light. It reminds me of metal,” you told him.

 

He reached out, slow and plenty of time between his action and the touch that fell over your skin. He traced the pale, shimmering silver ink of his name in disbelief.

 

Yoosung leaned in, eyes wide as he took in the strokes of colors. “So many… Wow.”

 

You hummed in agreement, and felt your smile might be permanent now.

 

Jaehee slipped between you, a small plate with a cup of sugar, a miniature pitcher of cream, and a steaming cup of coffee placed before you. She sat down as you poured in near the whole pitcher, and scooped out three spoonfuls of sugar.

 

You stirred it all thoroughly before you dared to drink it, and were well aware of the mix of disgusted and baffled stares watching you.

 

“You… Don’t like coffee, do you?” Jaehee questioned, hands folded in her lap.

 

“Mm… I like sweet things. If the coffee is sweet, I will like it,” you explained. “I prefer tea, though.”

 

“I could make-”

 

You interrupted, shaking your head. “No, I’m not here as a customer, Jaehee. This is fine.” You smiled and turned your body, offering a view of your shoulder where her name is written, perfectly calligraphed in yellow. “You’re welcome to touch. I don’t mind.”

 

Zen’s cheeks heat mildly. His hand still hadn’t left your arm, fingers petting over the sheen of his name, and he never asked permission. That’s all right. No one at this table will ever need permission to lay hand on your body if it comforts them.

 

The way her lips thin, you can tell she wanted to touch, but her manners held her back.

 

“Can I?” Yoosung asked, hand hovering. You nodded, and he pressed his fingers tenderly over the green of his name. Shy, he offered his wrist in turn, your name in playful strokes of soft pink on his skin.

 

You felt like you might cease to breathe, happiness clutching at your lungs. Your eyes gleam, threatening tears, but you held them back… For a few seconds.  

 

Jaehee squeaked, and Jumin’s chair shrieked on the tile as he stood, tugging the handkerchief from the breast of his suit jacket.

 

With force, he turned your chair about, and you just laughed as you wobbled. Zen attempted to balance you, but you were righted by Jumin, who braced your shoulder as he lifted his kerchief to your face.

 

“I made... a cat for... you,” you mumbled as he wiped your eyes and cheeks, both dimpled with the force of your grin.

 

“A-Ah, hey, it’s okay…” Yoosung tried to soothe, while Zen had erupted in laughter.

 

“Aha! Jaehee, you did the same thing when we met!” He chuckled, glancing at his second soulmate.

 

She flushed, rearing back. “I-It was- I was simply overwhelmed,” she stammered. “I wasn’t in the best state of mind.”

 

Jumin was silent, wiping your wet face efficiently with the silken kerchief before he deemed you clean and dry-faced.

 

“You were speaking, but I did not understand you,” he told you, folding the kerchief before placing it in your hand. You felt his wide palm over your upper arm, right where his name lay printed.

 

You licked your lips, tasted the salt of your happy tears in the corners of your mouth, and spoke clearly. “I made a cat for you. Or, I had started to. Yesterday, before Yoosung messaged me.”

 

Zen sneezed.

 

“Guah! No, tell me you don’t like cats too!” He bemoaned, face scrunched pitifully.

 

“Ah… I like dogs too?” You added, and patted his arm sympathetically. “Do you have a fur allergy?”

 

He shook his head and reached for a tissue. “No, only cats.”

 

Jumin sighed, reseating himself in between Yoosung and Saeyoung. “It is a shame that two such perfect beings do not live in harmony.”

 

“Jumin,” Zen hissed, and removed his hand from your arm as it clenched into a fist. His eyes darted between you and the man opposite him, anxiety tense in his face.

 

Saeyoung, quiet until now save for his giggles, shrugged heavily, leaning back in his chair. He folded his arms behind his head. “Better to have it out now rather than later,” he advised, waggling his brows at the two men.

 

“Oh?” You looked between them, Jumin unrepentant and Zen defensive. “Oh, I see.”

 

“Oho?” Saeyoung cooed in question.

 

You nodded, and took a mild sip of coffee. “Mhm.”

 

Yoosung blinked rapidly, quite lost. “What?”

 

Zen swallowed, jaw tight as he looked down at you. “You… Don’t mind?” He asked, quiet.

 

You looked back at him, head cocked. “I have five soulmates. I’m not expecting all of you to be sexually attracted to me-” Zen choked and Saeyoung snorted- “I’m not even expecting romantic partners. If you’re happy, then that is all I need.”

 

Red faced, Zen squawked, “you think that I’m- No, I’m not gay!”

 

You arched a brow and turned your head to Jumin in question.

 

He cleared his throat. “We are bisexual,” he explained, gesturing between them primly.

 

“I’m not even-” Zen retained his protest. “I’ve only ever-”

 

“There are exceptions to every rule,” you said, sipping again. It was starting to go cold; that was no good.

 

Zen made an indescribably frustrated noise and fell silent, cheeks abloom.

 

Saeyoung clapped, once and sharp, and stood with a wide smile. “Well! Now that the drama has been resolved-”

 

“What drama?” Yoosung muttered.

 

“- you’re going to tell us everything Yoosung didn’t. Or what I didn’t get from his texts.”

 

“You- Did you hack my phone?” Yoosung demanded, gaping at Saeyoung.

 

The red-head tsk’ed and shook a finger at Yoosung. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

 

“So, you hacked my phone?”

 

“Now, would a magician do something like that?”

 

Yoosung narrowed his eyes balefully at Saeyoung. “Yes.”

 

That look on Yoosung just didn’t belong. To see someone that cute try to be menacing, it backfired massively.

 

You pressed your cup to your lips and gulped down the cooling coffee as they bickered.

 

“Rude! The magician is offended you would say that!”

 

“Why would you be offended by the truth?” Jaehee asked, casually glancing at Saeyoung.

 

He gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. “Two enemies!”

 

A brief giggle escaped you. “Magician, what did you learn from Yoosung’s phone?”

 

“Among enemies, should I say…?” Saeyoung pondered, leaning back once more.

 

“Or I could start over? It wouldn’t be fair to let the magician say for me,” you said, tracing the rim of your empty cup.

 

“That would be the best option,” Jumin stated. “It is growing late, and I believe we all have morning obligations.”

 

That was true, you had classes and you needed to spend time at your studio. Newly found soulmates or not, the world still turned.

 

“All right. I’m nineteen, currently attending college for art, specifically as a sculptor. I work with clay, and I rent a studio near where I live. I’ll send you all the address to both, you’re welcome to visit me while I’m not in class. I enjoy reading and I like sweets. I tend to be bad about responding to texts, so please don’t think I’m ignoring you if I don’t answer right away.”

 

“Do you like calling instead?” Zen asked, pulling his phone out. The slim black and white case matched his clothing palate. “What is your number?

 

“Ah, I tend to hear it better,” you confessed, and took his phone. “When I’m in my studio I can zone out, as my friend says.”

 

“Wait! Nineteen?” Yoosung yelped. “I thought you were older!”

 

“... I told you I was a freshman in college?” You had said that, hadn’t you? You finished entering your information in Zen’s phone and passed it back.

 

“But- But you act older!” He protested, brows furrowed.

 

“Ah, I have been told I act like an old lady.”

 

“Maturity in youth is an admirable quality,” Jumin said.

 

“So says the twenty-six year old company director,” Zen muttered, arms crossed.

 

“Oh? A company director?” You questioned, mildly interested.

 

Jumin gave a short nod in affirmation. “It is a family company.”

 

You hummed, but pressed no further. You didn’t want to learn all of who they were in one night. You wanted a relationship more natural than that.

 

Despite what your desperate heart ached for.

 

You cleared your throat and stood, chair scraping noisily on the floor. “I should get going. Perhaps we can arrange more meetings at other times?”

 

“Like dates…?” Yoosung suggested hopefully. You melted at his shy voice and took his hand, thumb stroking over your pink soulname.

 

“If that’s what you want.”

 

He flushed with pleasure, smile wide.

 

“What about what you want?” Jaehee inquired, standing with more grace than you did, chair nearly silent as she tucked it under the table.

 

“I…? What do you mean?”

 

“Earlier, you said if we’re happy, that’s all you need. But what do you want?”

 

Want? Why would you want anything else? You felt blessed to have even met them, all five at once. It was more than you hoped for and now she was asking if you wanted more.

 

“I don’t… I want whatever you want from me,” you said and stepped back from the table. “I already have more than any one person should have.”

 

Jaehee’s brows dipped, and Jumin mused, “indeed, your soul is greedy, however-”

 

“Jumin!” Zen growled.

 

“However,” Jumin repeated, ignoring Zen. “There is a reason for it all. Your greedy soul brought us together, and while we waited for you we became close. We have had the time to decide what it is we want from each other. Now you are the final element, and you need to decide what you want from us. Being indecisive helps no one, you least of all.”

 

Wanting happiness was indecisive?

 

Your jaw tightened. “All I want is your happiness. That is not indecision.”

 

“It is vague and unachievable without definite goals,” Jumin declared.

 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Your dream was cracking. Why was simple happiness not enough?

 

“Are you… Unhappy with me?” Your voice broke, and you coughed to hide it. Yoosung's discontent murmur, his hand gentling on your arm, said you didn’t hide it well enough.

 

“We do not know you,” Jumin clarified, his tone quieting, but no less hard. “And we can not know you if you make yourself a receptacle for our needs and wants. That is not the kind of partner I want.”

 

You flinched, jerking away from Yoosung and Jumin alike. “You think I- No, I am not a- a vase waiting for you to fill me!” You hissed, stepping back further as the the others stood.

 

“No, we-” Zen tried to speak, to calm you, but you evaded his hand and removed yourself from arms length of them.

 

“I need to go,” you informed them, your own voice distant in your ears. “Share my number, if you want it. I have class in the morning.”

 

You fled the café amid calls of your name, shivering in the chill of the night. You were no runner, but when you heard the door burst open behind you, you took off, feet beating into the hard ground beneath you.

  
You only just made it to the bus stop before the last bus. You dropped yourself into a seat of the near empty bus, pressed your face in your hands, and cried as quietly as you could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/03/2017


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet. I just wanted to get in a chapter to lift the mood and get MC's head on straight before I got back into the meat of the plot. 
> 
> I really want to thank everyone reading and for all the super awesome comments. It's amazing to see that you all like this so much.

You ignored your phone for a day. For twenty-four hours you refused to look at the sleek screen, save once to mute it and turn off notifications.

 

When you left for class, you shoved it away in your dresser among your socks.

 

Your professor was a welcome distraction to your thoughts, pen scribbling rapidly across your notebook. The next class, you turned in a long completed assignment and found a seat in the back of the room.

 

As you doodled, waiting for the lecture to begin, a body dropped itself roughly into the chair beside you, sighing heavily.

 

“You and your phone, geez,” Sujin bemoaned, leaning back.

 

“I don’t have it today,” you muttered, circling your pen on the paper. You followed the contained spiral with your eye and didn’t look at your friend.

 

“Oh? I thought you would, for your ‘mates.” She was curious, always, but she knew you well enough to be suspicious. You might not answer your phone often, but you didn’t usually go entirely without it. There was little use in avoiding what Sujin would eventually pull out of you.

 

You started scribbling in the spiral circle you’ve made. “I met them yesterday.”

 

“...” You could feel the sharp gaze in the side of your head. You didn't acknowledge it.

 

“Why does that not sound as happy as I thought it would be?”

 

The circle was blackened, but you kept scribbling. “One of my mates, he said… My happiness is unachievable. Vague. He called me a _receptacle._ ”

 

Sujin placed her hand over yours and tugged the pen from your unresisting fingers. You ripped the page.

 

“Why did he say that?” She asked, quiet. “Should we talk outside?”

 

You shook your head. “No, I just… Jaehee asked me what I wanted. I told her I wanted for them to be happy. I don’t need anything else. I told them that. Whatever they want from me, I want to give it to them. Anything.”

 

Your voice was deliberately dry of emotion. You were a desert without water, drained of the people you wanted, the ones you wished would understand, but didn’t.

 

Sujin squeezed your hand. “And then your other soulmate said you were vague?”

 

You nodded, wordless. In the front, the lecture began. Sujin released your hand and returned your pen.

 

“We’ll talk after class. We’ll get tea and walk,” Sujin whispered. You nodded again, and forced all your attention to the professor.

 

Your notes were filled with black circles by the time the lecture was over.

 

* * *

 

“You know, until I met Yumi, I thought I wanted romance,” Sujin told you, hot tea clutched in her hand. “I wanted love and kisses and nights out and mornings in. I wanted to go out on dates and kiss in the rain like on the T.V. dramas.”

 

She sighed dreamily, and absently sipped her tea.

 

You’re quiet, your tea still full.

 

“But then I met Yumi. I didn’t know she was aromantic, that she doesn’t care for sex. I was upset for a bit, because we’re soulmates, aren’t we supposed to like the same thing?” Sujin shrugged. “But… It’s okay. We talked, and we found the way that we do fit. I learned that she loves animals, and takes pictures of her cat more than anything, but birds are her favorite. She likes to look at the stars, and go camping. She’s never gone to college, doesn’t want to. We’re really different.”

 

She paused to drink, and you waited impatiently, tapping at your cup.

 

“But there’s a reason we have each other’s name. We’re learning about each other, how we fit together. We’ve only known each other for a month, but… It’s just… It’s hard to explain. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed, and I’m still finding new ways that we’re just right. She’s going to take me camping soon.”

 

“Time, huh,” you murmured, and took a gulp of your lukewarm tea.

 

Sujin hummed. “Yeah. So, what do you want?”

 

“What?”

 

“From them,” Sujin gestured to your arms. “You want their happiness. You want to be happy. How? Make a game plan!”

 

You hunched, rubbing at your shoulder where navy strokes sat heavily. “I don’t know… I never thought about it. I just wanted to be with them. I figured I would finish college and make sculptures. One of them would recognize their name and ask about it. They would find me and we would get to know each other, go on dates, and slowly, we would find them rest of them together and live happily.”

 

Sujin stumbled and stared at you, eyes wide in disbelief. “Oh my god,” she breathed, “you’re a romantic. You’re a romantic, and I never knew. How did I not know? You hate my dramas!”

 

“I don’t hate them…”

 

“You complain every time we watch them!”

 

“I don’t- Look, can we not-”

 

Sujin grabbed hold of your arm. “You sneaky shit, we’re going to binge watch some dramas this weekend. But right now, we’re going to your apartment, and you’re going to figure out what you want from your ‘mates and how to be happy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/03/2017


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait!
> 
> I have college and work and life, but things go on! Don't expect any quick chapters for now :/ My semester is an accelerated one, though, so I'll have more free time come mid-November, just before American Thanksgiving. 
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoy!

It took some time. Sujin brought food and drink. She started cutting up vegetables and meat after she threw down a fresh notebook, tossed a pen at your face (it hit your cheek), and demanded you start a list.

 

So you sat and you thought, and you… You smelled the food she was cooking. The fresh juices of the cut vegetables and the spices she was setting into the meat wafted through the small area. You were too hungry to think about something so important.

 

“Sujin…” You were not whining.

 

She looked over her shoulder, one brow raised.

 

“... Nevermind.” Still not whining.

 

Sujin rolled her eyes and tossed a packet at you. You fumbled for it and nearly lost it to the floor. Rice crackers. Well, they were a bit sweet… She knew you disliked savory snacks.

 

“Don’t eat them all,” she warned, shaking the knife in her hand at you.

 

You had already opened the packet and pulled out a long cracker. “Hm?”

 

She huffed and returned to the pan, pouring a portion of oil into it and muttering threats under her breath. “Work on the list!” She shouted, violently shoving the oil back in a cabinet.

 

You were not a procrastinator, but you were definitely avoiding the pen every time you reached for another cracker.

 

Jaehee had to sit with Yoosung to make him do homework. If she were here, would she take away your snack?

 

How long had they known each other, to be so well acquainted? Long enough that Jumin and Zen were dating, that Jaehee was Yoosung's mentor of sorts. Yoosung and Saeyoung were good friends, or they bickered like they were.

 

Years, maybe? Whoever had been the newest member of the group before you had to have been there for at least half a year. They were all too familiar with each other for it to have been any less.

 

You had known them for all of three days, if you dared included today despite your avoidance. That was no time at all.

 

Time… You had known Sujin for years. It would be almost eight years when you had your next birthday. You didn’t want to take eight years to become close to your soulmates.

 

Grudgingly, you took up your pen as you munched on the last cracker and wrote “ _time_.” Next to it you wrote “ _relationship_.”

 

Regardless of the time it took to become close, you wanted a relationship with all of them. Time would dictate whether the relationship became one as friends or as lovers, which depended on the person.

 

Underneath _time_ and _relationship_ you wrote their names, with space between to fill in, and began writing more.

 

_Time_

_Relationship_

 

_Yoosung ♡_

  * _Boyfriend_ _(wants to date)_


  * _Likes video games - learn about video games_


  * _Really sweet_


  * _Get to know more_



_Saeyoung_ _  
_

  * _Friend/boyfriend_


  * _Don’t know much_


  * _Pranks and jokes_


  * _Get to know more_



_Zen_ _  
_

  * _Boyfriend ?? seems like he wants to date, but also dating Jumin_


  * _Might be shy? Yoosung said he wasn’t?_


  * _Get to know more_



~~_Jum_ ~~   ~~_Jumin_ ~~ _Him_ _  
_

  * _jerk_


  * _But Zen likes him_


  * ~~_Get to know more_~~



_Jaehee_ _  
_

  * _Friend/girlfriend_


  * _Nice_


  * _Get to know more_



 

A plate clattered beside you, deliberately loud. You jumped, tugging the list toward yourself. Pressed against your chest, it was safe from the minor splash of the sauce from Sujin’s dish.

 

She set down a few more dishes, passed you a pair of freshly washed chopsticks, and held her hand out in demand for the notebook. Reluctantly, you traded it for the chopsticks.

 

Your earlier snack had soothed the growling of your stomach, but with fresh food before you, the growls reemerged with a vengeance.

 

Suitably distracted, you shifted your attention from Sujin to the food and begin eating.

 

“You don’t like Jumin? He’s the one that called you a - What was it? - a receptacle?” She asked and set the notebook aside.

 

You nodded, mouth too full for a verbal response.

 

“Geez, slow down,” Sujin scolded. “Well…” She reviewed the list again. “If you want to get to know them, get their numbers. They don’t live around here, do they?”

 

“No,” you replied, quickly swallowing your mouthful. You coughed, cleared your throat, and spoke again. “No, but they’re not too far away. But schedules…”

 

“That’s why you text!” Sujin said, stabbing her chopsticks in your direction. “Where is your phone?”

 

You shrunk, pushing at your food, and mumbled. “... Socks.”

 

“Eh?”

 

“With my socks.”

 

Sujin paused and looked across the small table at you. For a moment, she closed her eyes. You didn’t think she would speak, and she didn’t for a long minute. Then she opened her mouth. “... Go get it.”

 

You scrambled up and retrieved it in record time. You tried the home button, but the screen was stubbornly black. Dead.

 

Shoulders tucked in, you left Sujin to eat while you grabbed your plug from the bedside table and replaced it at the wall nearest to the table.

 

“They tried that much, huh?” She asked, nibbling at some kimchi.

 

“What?”

 

“Your phone is dead, right? You have a really good phone, so it takes forever for the battery to die. Unless it’s always on. Did you turn your notifications off when you hid it?” She questioned, brow raised.

 

“Yes…”

 

“Hm. Then it must have been close to dead when you did that,” Sujin mused.

 

Guilt curled in your chest. How worried were they? Before you had turned off the notifications, it had been near ceaseless beeps and vibrating. Yoosung had your number, and you had given it to Zen as well. Of course, they would have shared it with the others.

 

All five of them, trying to reach you, wondering if you were all right, attempting to apologize on Jumin’s behalf or maybe Jumin apologizing himself. He didn't seem the type for it, but soulmates were serious business. If there was any exception, you might be it. Or Zen. 

 

It was… Cruel to have ignored them this long.

 

Yoosung was probably beside himself. You wondered if he cried. You weren’t sure about the rest.

 

You swallowed hard, and took the list back from Sujin.

 

“I should say sorry.”

 

“Yep,” Sujin agreed.

 

* * *

 

There were plenty of leftovers, and you helped put them away before Sujin left.

 

She was quiet as you hugged and closed the door behind her without a word. You locked it, and pressed your forehead against the cool surface.

 

How would you talk to them again? What would you say?

 

You felt foolish, a selfish, little drama queen who was so wrapped up in her world that she forgot to think of anyone else.

 

Jumin had a point. You had been entirely too vague about what you wanted from them. What could they do to be happy if you didn’t give them a direction to go in? You needed the same from them to figure out how best to fill their needs and wants as well.

 

You booted your phone, and it, thankfully, brightened with life, but the battery was still pitifully low. Maybe too low for a call, but you preferred to call instead of text.

 

You ignored the blinking number of text notifications and went straight for the missed calls. Hesitantly, you pressed the latest one and swiped the call icon.

 

It rang for a time, and just as you expected the voicemail to answer, you heard a click and a panting voice answer.

 

“He- hah!- Hello!”

  
“Z-Zen? Hi… It’s me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/06/2017


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> Everyone, please be well. Enjoy the chapter, if you want to talk my asks are open on my tumblr, and you can request my skype/discord. Things are scary right now, but we're here for each other, and I'm here for you. The link to my tumblr is on my profile.

She called back.

 

He almost hadn’t answered his phone - he usually didn’t when he exercised - but the name flashing was… It was like a dream.

 

He had been calling and texting for a day straight, desperate to make up for Jumin’s tactless words.

 

Zen wasn’t speaking to him. Hadn’t since he punched that shitty bastard’s face and left Jaehee’s café to chase after their last soulmate.

 

He shouldn’t have taken the time to even touch that bastard. She had disappeared in the evening shadows as if she had never been.

 

Years. Years and years, his entire life, he had been looking for her. He had found love, a best friend, a family, fans, but she was the last piece of it that needed to be there. In less than an hour, she had fled.

 

His work ethic had been sorely challenged in the following hours. He poured the sharp ache of his emotions into his acting and wondered the whole time, would she come back, would she ever see one of his shows, would she give him a chance?

 

Jaehee tried to soothe him, said it would take time, and she would answer them when she was ready. Jaehee had always been stronger than him, a pillar of support when he wasn’t sure where else to look.

 

There was a dent in the floor from the weights he dropped, flying for the light of his phone. He must have sounded horrible, panting like a dog in her ear as he greeted her.

 

“He- hah!- Hello!”

 

She paused, he could hear the audible catch in her breath, before she stammered, “Z-Zen? Hi… It’s me.”

 

“Yes!” Shit, he had to be calmer. “I mean, yes, I saw your caller id. I… I’m glad you called.” He couldn’t scare her away, he had to treat her soft and gentle.

 

She was quiet, and he could barely hear her breathing.

 

“Are you all right?” He sat down, free hand curled around the edge of the bench.

 

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry,” she spoke rapidly, “I didn’t mean to worry you, I just- I needed time. To think.”

 

“That’s fine,” Zen said, silently releasing the breath he had been holding. “I won’t say I didn’t worry, but if that’s what you needed, then you do what you have to. I’m just sorry it came to that.”

 

“No, he - Jumin - he was right.”

 

“W-What?”

 

That was the last thing he expected her to say. Zen wasn’t sure she would bring up that bastard’s name, let alone agree with him.

 

She sucked in a breath, air crackling over the phone. “I was unrealistic. I didn’t know what I wanted or have a solid plan, and it was unfair of me to assume things of all of you. I thought about it, and I made a list of what I think I should do.”

 

“You… Made a list?” He shouldn’t be smiling.

 

“Mm,” she confirmed. “For everyone. It’s not very long, because I don’t know as much about everyone as I would like to.”

 

That was rather cute. Zen chuckled, and picked up his towel to dab at the sweat drying on his face. “What’s my list?”

 

“Ah? Well…” He heard some paper rustling before she cleared her throat. “You might want to date, in the romantic sense, but I wasn’t sure because you’re dating Jumin-” Zen choked on the water he had just taken a sip of- “you seem a bit shy, but… Zen? Are you all right?”

 

He coughed raggedly into his workout towel, and held the phone away from his mouth. “F-Fine, I’m not-” He pulled away again, one last cough into the towel, and swallowed. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that. You-You’re very honest.”

 

“I suppose so…? Does it bother you?”

 

“No, not at all!” Zen reassured her, wiping his mouth. “I was only surprised. And you? You don’t mind?”

 

She had answered this the other day, but he needed confirmation. He had to know, beyond a doubt, that she was all right with his relationship with Jumin. He needed to know her answer was the same in private as it was in public.

 

He wanted her, to date her and to love her, but Jumin… He loved Jumin too. He might be upset with Jumin, but he was often upset with that stupid, rich boy. Maybe it was selfish, to want them both in the same way, but he had to know if it was possible.

 

“I don’t mind,” she told him. Blood surged through his veins, rushing in his ears loudly enough he almost missed her next words. “I meant what I said, when we met. I’m not expecting romantic or sexual partners. I just realized that my happiness with all of you needed to have goals, and I need to talk with all of you to find out what we want from each other so we can be happy together.”

 

She was an angel. A true, living angel. He was blessed.

 

“I do. Want to date you,” he said quickly. “If you want to also.”

 

Jaehee would say he was rushing it. She was the cautious one, the one who reined his impulses and told him to think before he leapt. Jaehee wasn’t here right now.

 

She laughed across the line, charmed despite his inelegance. “I think that would be nice, but… Let’s talk first. Be friends. I don’t really know you, after all.”

 

“Ha, that’s true for you too, princess,” he teased, leaning back. “You first, then. Ask me a question, and I’ll ask you one.”

 

“All right,” she agreed. He could hear the smile in her voice. “What do you…”

 

By the time he got home Jaehee was already asleep, his face hurt from smiles and laughter, and his phone was still warm in his coat pocket.

 

* * *

 

You had stayed up late, talking to Zen, and you knew your sleep would suffer for it. As you were, the excitement of the conversation refused to wane, and you were more than wide awake.

 

It had been a good call. Talking to him warmed your heart, and your cheeks ached where they had been stretched in a smile. Was your face so out of practice expressing your emotions your muscles needed exercise?

 

With a sigh, you let yourself slide sideways, peering into the light of your phone. Would it be so bad to respond to some texts at this time of night?

 

Your thumb hovered uncertainly over the text app. No, that would be rude. Especially when you had called Zen. You should show the same respect to everyone else. Call them, talk to them, hear their voices and opinions individually.  

 

Tomorrow. You almost wished you could just take the day off and ignore classes, but you weren’t so irresponsible as that.

 

Reluctantly, you left your phone to charge.

 

The routine of preparing for bed thankfully calmed your buzzing nerves, enough that when you finally slipped under the covers you fell asleep near immediately.

 

When you dreamt, a low voice whispered in your ear, asking you questions and making you laugh, ghost hands tickling as they embraced you from behind. In the corner of your eyes, you could see fluttering silver hair and red eyes creased with joy, a soft weight on your shoulder.

 

Soft beeping woke you slowly, and you reached out, patting about for your phone. You swiped the alarm away and absently opened your texting app, scrolling to reach Zen’s name. As you smiled, you tapped out a short message to him.  

 

[ **\---------:** Good morning. I hope your dreams were nice.]

 

You sat up, stretching as you yawned, and thumbed through your mess of texts, only two of which were from named contacts. You picked the last one, time stamped for last night.

 

[ **xx-xxx-xxxx:** This is Jumin. Save this contact as my personal number. You may text me at any time, though responses may not be timely.

 

 **xx-xxx-xxxx:** It has been made apparent to me that what I said to you could be taken as harsh.

 

 **xx-xxx-xxxx:** My only intention was honesty.  

 

 **xx-xxx-xxxx:** I would like to discuss this with you.

 

 **xx-xxx-xxxx:** You may call me now, I have a clear schedule for this evening.

 

 **xx-xxx-xxxx:** It would seem that you are avoiding us all. When you are ready to talk, you have my number. Sleep well.]

 

Well.

 

That was almost apologetic.

 

You were not used to such formal texting. Jaehee’s few texts were the closest you had seen, augmented by Yoosung’s initial excitement that tripped his fingers into typos.

 

This was as cute as Yoosung’s typos. You recalled how Jumin had jumped, banging his knee and spilling his coffee. Despite how well he put himself together and the formality of his typing, he was nervous, wasn’t he?

 

Jumin was not the emotionless jerk you had put him together as in your mind.

 

You smiled, leaning back on your hand as you looked over his texts again. A business man… He was probably used to clearly defined terms. Jaehee, the one who had brought up the issue of your vague ideal of happiness, was of a similar mind.

 

They hadn’t meant to be so blunt as to shoot you down. They had only wanted to know how to make all of this work. Five people in close knit relationship, adding an extra person - despite expecting of you - was always going to have been messy. Toes would be stepped on, regardless, but it didn’t have to be a complete disaster. 

 

The phone dimmed from inactivity, and you set it aside. You were far from a social butterfly, like Sujin, but you weren’t exactly anti-social either. You just… Lacked social experience, perhaps. You needed to have more patience and less sensitivity, to give yourself and your soulmates time together and discover what you were for each other.

 

Once dressed, you plucked the phone up again, taking it with you to your kitchen. As you waited for your leftovers to heat, you opened a response and carefully typed out a short message.

 

[ **Jumin:** It would seem that you are avoiding us all. When you are ready to talk, you have my number. Sleep well.

 

 **\---------:** Good morning. I will talk today. Please call when youre free.]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/14/2017


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait. I've been in a bad situation for a while, and it caused me a lot of stress, my mental health was deteriorating, and my finances were in the drain. 
> 
> Thankfully, I'm no longer in that situation. I've found a better place to work, I'm much better, and I no longer have to worry about food. I'm still financially strained, and I have to find a new apartment in a few months, so I could use a bit of help. You can see my tumblr for more details: [hysteriabegetsmirth](http://hysteriabegetsmirth.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I'm going to post chapters more regularly, both here and on other stories, as well as new stories to come! Hopefully, you can expect one chapter every Saturday and Sunday. Thank you for all the support. I really enjoy writing this, and it means a lot that you all enjoy it too.

Studio day.

 

For a single day out of the week, you spent the entire day in your rented studio space. It was a reprieve from homework, classes, and errands.

 

Under normal circumstances, you left your phone silent as you worked. Sujin was the only one who contacted you.

 

Now you had five more someones who would be contacting you regularly.

 

You plugged your phone in, a touch of guilt weighing in your chest as you looked at the messages from Yoosung.

 

[ **Yoosung:** Im realy sorry abt Jumin;;;;

 

 **Yoosung:** Pleas dont feel bad. I dont think of you like that and I kno he doesnt too

 

 **Yoosung:** Jumin doesnt think of other peoples feelings when he talks sometimes

 

 **Yoosung:** did u get home? r u sleeping?

 

 **Yoosung:** text me when you get up

 

 **Yoosung:** Are you up? Are you getting my calss?

 

 **Yoosung:** calls

 

 **Yoosung:** [Photo]

 

 **Yoosung:** I made breakfast but I got distracted by my phone and it burned;;;

 

 **Yoosung:** I thought u called but it was Jaehee

 

 **Yoosung:** she said youre not answering anyone

 

 **Yoosung:** Are you okay? Let someone know. We’re all worried.

 

 **Yoosung:** please answer. im getting really worried

 

 **Yoosung:** hello???]

 

Your guilt rolled down your chest to your gut.

 

Yoosung… Did he cry? Was he that worried?

 

Your fingers ached press the call icon, but you were still waiting on Jumin. It wouldn’t be fair to call someone else when you were waiting for him. But you could text.

 

[ **Yoosung❤:** hello???

 

 **\---------:** I’m sorry. I needed time to think. I talked to Zen last night. I’m sorry I worried you.

 

 **\---------:** I’ll call you after I talk to Jumin. I promise.]

 

The reply was instant.

 

[ **Yoosung❤:** im so gald youre oaky!

 

 **Yoosung❤:** somany typos;;;; im soryy

 

 **Yoosung❤:** but i’m glad you’re okay.

 

 **Yoosung❤:** i’m in class anyway;; i’ll let you know when i get out so we can talk.

 

 **Yoosung❤:** Jumin better be nice to you. If he isn’t let me know. I will lecture him!!!]

 

Ah, Yoosung. Cute as always. You found yourself smiling fondly. Nerves that had built waiting on Jumin faded. You wished you could hug Yoosung and wait beside him for Jumin’s call.

 

[ **\---------:** You’re so sweet. Don’t worry. I don’t think Jumin wants to be mean. He just speaks bluntly.]

 

Seconds after you sent your text, the phone lit up, buzzing as Jumin’s name flashed across the screen and a poppy ringtone bubbled from the speakers.

 

Anxiety that had diminished while texting Yoosung soared, and your body felt both light and heavy at once. Your finger trembled as you pressed the answer icon, then shifted the phone against your ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

You winced. Your voice was high and thready; there was no way Jumin wouldn’t be able to tell just how nervous you were.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

Wow. Immediate question response. Either you sounded that bad, or he regretted his words that much.

 

You coughed lightly and attempted to regain some composure.

 

“Y-Yes, I’m fine. I just… Needed some time.”

 

Jumin hummed shortly across the line.

 

“Understandable. You have come to a conclusion, then?”

 

“I have. You were right,” you murmured as you spun in your chair, legs bouncing.

 

“Of course. It is good that you have realized this. It will make building relationships between all of us much easier.”

 

You laughed dryly. “You’re not humble, but that’s no surprise, Mr. Trust Fund Kid.”

 

“... Ah. You’ve spoken to Zen.”

 

“Mhm,” you hummed. “He told me about you. He cares for you. A lot.”  

 

The line was quiet, but you could hear papers shuffling in the background. You imagined it might be in embarrassment or pleasure.

 

You tapped your foot against your stool. This wasn’t so bad. “You’re not really on my good side, though. There are better ways to say things like that.”

 

“I see little point in doing anything but expressing my honest thoughts and opinions to someone who I will become close to. Honest communication is the best policy.”

 

You sighed, stretching your arm over the table. “That’s a good stance, but there’s a way to be honest without being hurtful. It really hurt me, the way you spoke to me.”

 

“... I apologize for the pain I brought you,” Jumin told you quietly, every word thick with sincerity.

 

You stilled in your fidgeting, and the apology echoed in your mind. You hadn’t thought Jumin was the type of person to outright apologize like this.

 

“I-I’m glad you understand how much you hurt me,” you stammered quickly, and coughed again to hide the creaking of your voice. “I forgive you.”

 

“Could you explain why it was so painful for you? I admit, you are not the first woman I have brought to tears, but your tears are not the ones I want to be responsible for. If there is a way I can avoid doing so again, your advice would be appreciated.”

 

“Aha! So straightforward!” You barked, laughter spilling out without thought. “I think I like it.”

 

Your laughter petered into giggles, muffled by your arm while Jumin sighed in your ear.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” you snickered. “Ah, I’ll try to explain. It’s a little long, but please listen to me. I’ll be as honest as you are.”

 

“I appreciate it.”

 

“My parents were my role models for soulmates. They’re… Almost stereotypical perfect, really. When I was little, I wanted to have a relationship just like them. They’re everything to each other, best friend, lover, family. They hardly needed to speak to come to conclusions. Then, before I was even ten, I had five names on my body. I felt blessed… But it was too strange for the other children around me.”

 

Absently, you rubbed your wrist.

 

“For a while, the only thing that made me feel good about the amount of names I had was that I had five people to share the kind of bond my parents have with. It was too easy to feel like, sometimes, my body was lying. That I would wake up and all my names would be gone. Or worse, that I would be left when only one.”

 

Jumin’s voice was soft. “Why would only one be worse?”

 

You huffed a broken laugh. “Because what happened to the rest of you? How could I choose just one person? It… The thought of it makes me feel sick. It hurts in my chest to think of anyone being left behind. Before Sujin came along, the five names I had were my only friends. When I finally met you, how could I not give you everything? I didn’t even consider myself. As long as I could make all of you happy, then I would be happy.”

 

“... That is unhealthy. Though it brought you pain, I am glad I said what I did.”

 

“You could have left out the ‘greedy soul’ part.”  

 

From Jumin’s side, you heard a door open and some formally address him.

 

“Yes, I will come in a moment,” he told them. “I must return to work, but I am grateful we were able to talk. I will schedule another call with you later so that we may continue.”

 

You smiled, fondness and exasperation creeping through your veins. You had no doubt that kind of interruption would be common in your calls with him. “All right. Text me a time. Have a good day at work.”

 

“Thank you. I hope your day is pleasant also.”

 

Silence rang as the call disconnected, and you set your phone aside. A smile lingered on your lips.

 

It felt good, to tell him everything. To give him the conclusion you had arrived at and the reasoning behind your actions.

 

Jumin had listened, too. Earnestly, genuinely listened. It was good to see pieces of the Jumin that Zen had fallen in love with.

 

Happily, you plugged in your earbuds and slipped them on.

 

Maybe once this cat was done, you could give it to Jumin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/15/2017


End file.
